But if mental health professionals could share just
one nugget of wisdom with us all, what would it be?
Saying no does not make you selfish
“For some of us, saying no can be really hard. It
might fill us with feelings of guilt, or even thoughts about being selfish. But
the reality is, there’s nothing selfish about saying no,” says Gemma Campbell,
counsellor and clinical content specialist at Kooth.
“Someone who is able to say no perhaps has
healthier boundaries than someone who agrees to things they don’t want to do.
Having healthier boundaries isn’t about refusing to help out, it’s about
working out our personal limits, and figuring out what we’re OK with.
“Over time, this means we’re able to think about
our own needs, as well as the needs of others.”
Men do seek help
“The one thing I wish everyone knew is that men do
seek help. By perpetuating the stereotype that ‘men don’t talk’, we end up
reinforcing that idea,” says Dr. Zac Seidler, director of mental health training
at Movember.
“We need to stop making assumptions and start
asking men what they need because we know millions of men are reaching out for
support. We keep telling men to open up, but we have to be ready to listen to
what they have to say.
“You can’t make someone share before they’re ready,
but there are a few things you can do to get the conversation going. Keep
things low-key, judgment-free, and ask open-ended questions. It can feel like
two steps forward, and one step back, but don’t let that discourage you. Keep
showing up for them.”
It’s normal for therapy to feel hard
“It is natural when considering starting therapy to
feel excited and anxious at the same time, even if it’s something that’s been
on your mind for a long time,” says senior therapist Sally Baker. “It’s crucial
to find a therapist you feel you will be comfortable working with. Request an
introductory chat so you can find out more about their experience and how they
work.
“Remember, having to go into forensic detail about
your life isn’t always necessary anymore to achieve powerful therapeutic
results – this is called ‘content-free’ therapy. If this is what you need, it’s
available for you.”
Everyone is worthy of support and self-care
“Many of us experience that horrible sensation
where we view ourselves as not worthy. These kinds of feelings have increased
post the pandemic. Yet it’s important to remember that each of us suffers in
some way,” says UKCP psychotherapist Dwight Turner.
“Having these thoughts doesn’t mean we are broken,
and sitting with a counsellor or psychotherapist can be the perfect route
towards recognising we deserve that promotion, the applause, or that person we
are having dinner with. Seeing a psychotherapist or counsellor should be an
essential part of all our mental health self-care.”
Sleep really does have a massive impact
“When we sleep, our brains go through a host of
processes, which help regulate our physical and mental health,” says Dr. Lindsay
Browning, psychologist, neuroscientist, and sleep expert for And So To Bed.
“During sleep, we regulate our hormone production,
including hormones that control happiness, such as dopamine. If we don’t get
enough sleep, we can have an imbalance in hormones, which can impact our mood
and physical health.
“We also process difficult situations we’re facing
in our lives through our dreaming (REM) sleep. So when we don’t get enough, our
brains don’t have the time and opportunity to do this, and we are more likely
to be depressed and anxious. This is added to the fact that, without enough
sleep, we may feel too tired to get things done during the day, and start to
feel sad and anxious about that too.”
Burnout can be prevented
“We’ve been inundated with best practices for
work-life balance and self-care. The reality is, people have different needs,
interests, and coping mechanisms – it’s about striking the right balance for
you,” says Dr. Sarah O’Neill, clinical director at Spectrum Life.
“Setting boundaries between work and personal time
is a great first step. Add in stress management – proper sleep, nutrition and
regular physical activity go a long way in preventing burnout. Recognising what
is within your control (and not) is also important.
“Your job design and workload are usually outside
of your control, around which you may need to communicate with your employer –
even the best self-care strategies can be overwhelmed by unsustainable job
roles. You can focus on managing stress, work-life balance and navigating life
responsibilities. To truly manage burnout, however, you will also need to engage
with your employer when there are areas of your role that are unsustainable, as
this is at the core of it.”
Physical activity really is medicine for the mind
“Being active can improve your physical well-being,
but it can also help you maintain a healthy mind. People who exercise regularly
have better mental health and emotional wellbeing, and lower rates of mental
ill health,” says Gosia Bowling, psychotherapist and national lead for
emotional wellbeing at Nuffield Health.
“Exercise can help relieve feelings of stress by
releasing anxiety-reducing chemicals and giving you a mood-lifting dopamine
spike. Remember: the greatest gains are often seen in those who go from doing
nothing to doing something – you don’t have to be an athlete, everything you do
counts. Even a short burst of five to 10 minutes of brisk walking can increase
your mental alertness and lift your mood.”